Salad Spinner Pillows

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

Vinegary salads are a small price to pay for boycotting the oil industry.

"Getting drunk grilling lettuce just isn't the same."

'Like death by salad.'

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

Fish talking about fisherman

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

300 cows in a field...grazing!

Grimm's Fairytales - Title Page

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

fairy tales

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"More croutons, sir?"

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

Ranch Dressing

Free salad bar.

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

'Hold on, pal! Who's in control of the narrative here?'

"How's my wife doing in the discus tryouts? I can tell you that, at home, she's hell on wheels with saucers and plates."

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

"Might I recommend one of our salads? They come with three of your companion's fries."

'I must admit, this family reunion hasn't really lived up to my expectations.'

The Perfect Garden.

'R.I.P. Van Winkle, just sleeping.'

I guess Grandpa was once a wise king, too. He always says he does his best thinking on the throne.

"Always exaggerate. It makes life seem more interesting."

'Because he was the one who had to milk her. That's why Jack traded the cow for a handful of beans.'

All you can eat salad bar has lifetime price.

'Who needs a measuring tape when you've got an imagination?'

'The Chef's Salad isn't available today. She ate it herself.'

I was able to get you a 2-book deal.