Salad Specialist T-Shirts

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

"We're checking ourselves out after making our own salads and grinding our own coffee...they should be paying us!"

'Like death by salad.'

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

Surprise in the salad bowl

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"More croutons, sir?"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

Ranch Dressing

Free salad bar.

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

"Who is having the 4 bean salad? Half portion?"

'You're eating too much roughage.'

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

"Might I recommend one of our salads? They come with three of your companion's fries."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

The Perfect Garden.

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.

'The Chef's Salad isn't available today. She ate it herself.'

Yes, the salad was vegan. In fact, we even offered it first to all the bunnies in the area, each of whom insisted that, no, he was quite full, and he'd like you to have it.

'It's great that you made your own salad, dear, but those aren't croutons, they're dog kibbles.'

"I want a big-a*s salad."

"Now hold on just a minute! Salad - fine! Chick flix - fine! But I draw the line on video games!"

All you can eat salad bar has lifetime price.