Salad Sniffer Pillows

The Atkins Diet.

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

'Diet considerations.'

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

The famous Walled-off salad.

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious day when you're ripe and not yet mealy?"

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

'He left it to me. Isn't a double Salmanazar of '55 Chateau Cheval Blanc the perfect match with the side garden salad?'

The male of the species approaches the cafe counter. What's that, Mr. Pinkerton? Careful not to disturb those around him, the male scans his surroundings. His senses, his vision and his sense of smell have been honed by years of evolution and survival. Sniiif! At last, the male makes his move! He orders one slice of rhubarb pie, a la mode! You want pie? Suddenly, he is alerted to danger. The male seeks refuge behind a petunia! … but is it too late? No pie for him. The male will have a salad. The

The real reason salad aids weight loss

Salad Hat

'It's great that you made your own salad, dear, but those aren't croutons, they're dog kibbles.'

All you can eat salad bar has lifetime price.

"I want proof that I even need that much iron before I go eating all that spinach."

"He had an uncanny ability to pick up the scent of opportunity."

"Now hold on just a minute! Salad - fine! Chick flix - fine! But I draw the line on video games!"

'If we could just add one more gene to make the skeptical customer trust us.'

Please be gentle, waiter. This is my first salad. I'm sorry, sir, but there's a reason they call it "roughage."

"It's got lettuce and pickle...why can't we call it a salad."

'What! No garnish or side salad?'

Gustav Mahler orders a salad.

"Now, who ordered the salad?"