Salad Sensation Pillows

'Who ordered the caesar salad?'

"In about two months we should have a salad."

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'Like death by salad.'

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

'Diet considerations.'

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"More croutons, sir?"

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

Free salad bar.

Ranch Dressing

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."