Salad Magician T-Shirts

The Perfect Garden.

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

Domestic Goddess.

'Like death by salad.'

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

Surprise in the salad bowl

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"More croutons, sir?"

'I love it when you cook - it lets me practice faking it.'

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

'After you with the camouflage.'

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

Ranch Dressing

Free salad bar.

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

"Might I recommend one of our salads? They come with three of your companion's fries."

'There's something wrong with the slow cooker. I check it every minute but nothing's cooking!'

"Every time my wife has an accident in the kitchen, I end up eating it. . ."

'Howard's short stay in the hospital was good for both of us. He finally appreciates my cooking.'

"Now hold on just a minute! Salad - fine! Chick flix - fine! But I draw the line on video games!"

'You'll find loaves in the pantry and fishes in the freezer.'

'The Chef's Salad isn't available today. She ate it herself.'

Yes, the salad was vegan. In fact, we even offered it first to all the bunnies in the area, each of whom insisted that, no, he was quite full, and he'd like you to have it.

"I want a big-a*s salad."