Saint Bernard Enthusiast Pillows

Rescue Dogs

'Don't worry, I'm off-duty today: The cask is empty...'

'One thing, however - if they DO bite you, you don't suffer!'

"Not bad, but I said, 'Stay'."

Santa Claus's Mail

High security Santa's grotto

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

'This year I'm deliverying everything FedEx!'

Shakespeare Quote

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

Santa CGI Effect

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

'How do you think he stays so merry through the holidays?!'

"I want a pony!"

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

That dolphin drinks like a fish.

'Well, I'll try, but cheese seems to be the 'must have gift' this year.'

'And that,and that,and that...'

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

"Amazon wants to open a facility here due to our friendly labor environment."

"Alas poor yoghurt - I knew it well..."

The Reindeer Strike

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

"For the last time… do not feed bubble gum to the reindeer!"

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

"OK, so you've won the mating fight, but will you please allow me visiting rights to see my kids?"