Sailing Punsters Pillows

"Are you any good at closing a sail."

Another Turning Point in History. Oh, the heck with it -- I'll never get these antlers right. Mickey Moose.

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

"After searching for the sun all night, it finally dawned on me..."

'It's a treasure map.'

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

'Don't you think they'd be better off in the water?'

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

"Hey Kevin! Care to enter the office football pool?"

A dog reads a newspaper

"After careful deliberation, I've decided I can no longer represent you as your lawyer in this case."

'I'll have a Martini, Jack. Extra dry.'

Hamlet.

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'

"Someday son, this will be all oars."

"Jack Russell?"

'Hey, Lady. . . that looks like a laptop to me. . . youze is obviously a P2P gangster. . . get in the trunk and lets go fors a little ride.'

Where's Slinky going? To Florida, for spring training.

"I wish she's take us. She shops at the 99 scent store!"

-I once dreamed about carrots and peas,and then bet on two horses the next day called carrots and peas. Guess who won? -Who? -An outsider called mixed vegetables.

Happy Hour 5-6, but don't read a lot into it.

Fart. Le Poot.

"Lose those fantasies of exacting vengeance from the afterlife. Our best hope is a mild case of salmonella."

'No, I'm not strictly catch-and-release.'

"I'd like to talk about the existence of deviled eggs among the lay-ity."

"You're a bottlenose dolphin – find me a bottle!"

Kanoe/Cayak.

'Yeah, I tried that once.'

"I blame his old careers teacher myself, it was him who suggested he did a bank job."

'To be perfectly honest, I don't understand the International Date Line myself.'

"I had a dream that my bones were being picked clean!..."