Underwater Punster Pillows

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Intelligent people laugh too!

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

Sweep the board.

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

Dogs life

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Water is discovered on the moon....

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."

'It's worse than we thought: You've got termites.'

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

'He bought a donkey because he thought he might get a kick out of it.'

"So is this war movie rated R, rated PG, or rated RPG?"

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

Kamikaze Colour