Sailing Punsters Gifts

"Are you any good at closing a sail."

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

"After searching for the sun all night, it finally dawned on me..."

'It's a treasure map.'

'Don't you think they'd be better off in the water?'

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

"Hey Kevin! Care to enter the office football pool?"

A dog reads a newspaper

Hamlet.

'I'll have a Martini, Jack. Extra dry.'

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'

"Someday son, this will be all oars."

"I wish she's take us. She shops at the 99 scent store!"

"Jack Russell?"

-I once dreamed about carrots and peas,and then bet on two horses the next day called carrots and peas. Guess who won? -Who? -An outsider called mixed vegetables.

Fart. Le Poot.

"Lose those fantasies of exacting vengeance from the afterlife. Our best hope is a mild case of salmonella."

'No, I'm not strictly catch-and-release.'

"You're a bottlenose dolphin – find me a bottle!"

Kanoe/Cayak.

"I blame his old careers teacher myself, it was him who suggested he did a bank job."

'Yeah, I tried that once.'

'Now listen: The best time to lick the kids' faces is right after lunch...'

'To be perfectly honest, I don't understand the International Date Line myself.'