Safety Protocol Satirist Pillows

Push In And Turn

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Another one? Do you realize it will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

Safety Barriers

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

Fire door.

Decontamination

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

'The most important safety rule to follow when doing anything dangerous is to first find out who can sue you when you get hurt.'

'As a part of a cost-cutting experiment all of our safety measures will be replaced with these good luck charms.'

Health & Safety Official Tester.

Jet Turbine Testing Area

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

'I baked it especially for you.'

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

Security at the Smaller Airports

Moses does a Life jacket demo

"What makes you think we have to contact OSHA?"

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

Stuffed animal head falls on man.

Living life dangerously 2010.

'I'm bored, what can I do?' 'Go and play with your Junior Bomb Disposal kit.'

Department of Health and Safety: Knock (but not too loudly or you may suffer knuckle bruising) And Enter (Beware of tripping over the fireproof carpet).

'They say these vans are unsafe when fully loaded, so we're only going to allow 50 of you in at a time.'

Acme Candles - In case of fire, break glass.