Safety Precaution Parodist Pillows

'Lock your windows and doors before you take this drug. The side effects are scary!'

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Another one? Do you realize it will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

Safety Barriers

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

Fire door.

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'The most important safety rule to follow when doing anything dangerous is to first find out who can sue you when you get hurt.'

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

'As a part of a cost-cutting experiment all of our safety measures will be replaced with these good luck charms.'

Health & Safety Official Tester.

Jet Turbine Testing Area

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

Security at the Smaller Airports

'I'm bored, what can I do?' 'Go and play with your Junior Bomb Disposal kit.'

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

Athlete

'I baked it especially for you.'

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

Living life dangerously 2010.

"What makes you think we have to contact OSHA?"

Climb to Safety in Case of Alien Invasion

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!

Department of Health and Safety: Knock (but not too loudly or you may suffer knuckle bruising) And Enter (Beware of tripping over the fireproof carpet).

'They say these vans are unsafe when fully loaded, so we're only going to allow 50 of you in at a time.'

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

Job Safety - Lunch.