Safety Net Spender Pillows

'Could I return these scratch cards, I've only used them once!'

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

"Little Lucas doesn't go anywhere without his weighted blanket."

Excess

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

'Some people say they're ego-compensation, but what do they know.'

Social security.

Buy 1 Get 1 Free. Buy 2 You're Stupid.

"With this app, I can track my savings. It counts cash, categorizes cash, and calculates cash interest."

"I need this grant to start my chicken farm."

"I got a bonus for the first time in years. Would it be selfish to spend it on myself instead of on Christmas gifts?"

College of Arts and Sciences (and a few things to fall back on).

The Price of The Stuff/How Much Stuff Is in The Store

'I think we should put a limit on how much we spend on each other at Christmas, like two hundred and twenty thousand pounds.'

'I do know the value of a dollar... that's why I've asked for five...'

Book in library - 'Crash tests for dummies' (being read by a crash test dummy).

'In life I was scorned for worshipping the Almighty Dollar.'

Eat it while it's still £6.50.

'Uh, Molly...Who's your little friend?'

'Well, you have an excellent life policy -- now, would you be interested in some lifestyle insurance?'

Credit card debt.

Spiralling inflation

When government depends on state lottery: Playing the lottery is lots of fun and a great investment plan!

'Still glad you sprung for the 84-inch flat panel?'

'I'm torn between brand loyalty & changing trends in the consumer experience.'

Idiot Driver Sensor System.

'This is coming out of your allowance!'

"Dear, your boss just called to tell you there was a slight mistake in your paycheck."