Bonus Spender Pillows

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

"I got a bonus for the first time in years. Would it be selfish to spend it on myself instead of on Christmas gifts?"

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

'A 10M bonus for your thoughts.'

Okay, start shouting them in for their annual bonuses.

'But the good news is, I still get a big bonus.'

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

Excess

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

'I'll have a big bonus please.'

'I take it his performance review went well.'

Loose change fund: 'You get to keep whatever you can grab with one hand.'

'Some people say they're ego-compensation, but what do they know.'

We don't think your 12 million dollar bonus is obscene. We think it's 12 million little ways to say 'I love you.'

loan

'Call me a cockeyed optimist but I still believe big executive bonuses and perks can buy happiness.'

Charity Shop Income on Rise

'Well, okay. So we almost bankrupted the country. But we've managed to make a slight profit thanks to the government bail out package, so who can possibly deny us a fat bonus this year?'

'It's simple, really. This line stays high and sets a good example for the other line.'

Bankers Christmas Bonus Dome.

'You're addicted to big bonuses. But the good news is there's a patch to treat that.'

"It's all very well for people to go on about restraining hedge fund managers...but they have not idea of what we do!"

"It was a mixed dayon wall street. Stocks were down, but bonuses were up."

The company didn't pay a bonus this year

'We're with you half way, sir. We'll return our government bailout if we can keep our executive bonuses.'

'I guess it's better than no bonus at all.'

"We have no golden parachutes."