Bonus Lover Pillows

Banker's decide to 'waive' their bonus cheques!

'I'm contributing to the national happiness index.'

What's a CEO's motivation?

Loose change fund: 'You get to keep whatever you can grab with one hand.'

"They understand that our bonuses should reflect the moral high ground...the higher the better."

Bank's business profile...

Banker's cocktails.

"I can't work in a place that doesn't share my commitment to honesty, moral integrity and a $15,000 sign on bonus."

My bonus wasn't obscene, but it did come with a parental advisory.

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

The Evolution of the Bonus

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

We need to put more money into Lithuanian sardine futures...I think that warrants bonuses all around!

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

'A 10M bonus for your thoughts.'

"I thought about looking for work in England, but I hear they're capping bonuses."

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

"Carrots just didn't get me going anymore, so I switched to chocolate instead..."

'But the good news is, I still get a big bonus.'

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

'Remember Nitro, keep the engine running and once we've bagged the bonus cheques you floor the peddle.'

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

We don't think your 12 million dollar bonus is obscene. We think it's 12 million little ways to say 'I love you.'

'I've got my wallet here in the left inside pocket. Now I got a bonus and bought a bigger wallet which needs more space. Would you please remove my heart?'

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

'I'll have a big bonus please.'

'Well, okay. So we almost bankrupted the country. But we've managed to make a slight profit thanks to the government bail out package, so who can possibly deny us a fat bonus this year?'

"No Jenkins, that's NOT a sales graph - it's my salary increase."

'Call me a cockeyed optimist but I still believe big executive bonuses and perks can buy happiness.'

'I take it his performance review went well.'