Safety Buffs Mugs

'Starting tomorrow, out new Health and Safety policy dictates that we must provide individually sealed brandy rations...'

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

Noah's life jacket demonstration

"We'll get there when we get there!"

"Remember, when you back up, make that 'beep beep' sound."

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

Wall Street...

Echo Mountain...NO Yodeling! - Falling rock zone.

Mash-Test Dummies.

'Wow. The anti-smoking movement really has been successful.'

"I've seen this before. Keep his head inside the car when the vehicle is in motion."

"Warning! Not to be used as a life saving device."

Halloween health & safety.

"Why do you always wear pants?"

Connected Intersections Challenge

'I know the fire's in the kitchen, but that program just irks the hell out of me.'

'I say we forget about these particular chickens...'

"It's the worst case of Sick Building Syndrome I've ever seen!"

"I childproofed all the cabinets for you."

'When it comes to our Boef flambe safety is paramount.'

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

'Wow, that's the worst case of tennis elbow I've seen this year!'

'Do not be alarmed... this is only a drill!'

"What do I do when I get to the top?"

Piano Airbag

Acme Candles - In case of fire, break glass.

The best safety device is a rearview mirror with a cop car in it.

'So how was work, Honey?'

"Duck? No I ordered the beef."

'Cover me whilst I cross the road...'

My doctor advised me to start walking more.

Crash Test Dummy Denied Insurance.