Safety Analysis Pillows

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Man using to much bug spray

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

On the brink.

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

Baby on board.

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

"Why don't you start with tennis balls?!"

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

"I've had it with the helmet mandates."

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

Reasonableman

'Mind how you cross the ocean.'

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"