Safecracker Pillows

"Only thing he can't crack is why is wife would just up and leave."

The Computer Bore

The DaVinci Code

Barks in code.

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'Forget the DaVinci Code! I'm still trying to crack the tax code!'

"I always check twitter before work, to see if yesterday's joke got me the sack."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

Early Programmers.

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

'I think what we need now is someone called a computer programmer.'

"'Procreate'! I've climbed all this way to hear that the meaning of life is 'procreate'?!"

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

'I've got one week to master this program. The boss is threatening to hire an eight year old.'

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

'Somewhere along the way, I went from lambada to lumbago.'

'Honey, tell me honestly...does this operating system make me look big-endian?'

"Actually, I think it's a cluster of SCUD missiles heading our way!"

'A bachelor's? Big deal - I have a MASTER'S degree in enlightenment!'

If at first you don't succeed call it version 1.0

"Of course, that's just my opinion. If you want my professional opinion it will cost you."

"That didn't work either! I'm telling you, this is one AGGRESSIVE virus!"

Computer Crimes

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

Jim unwittingly wanders into a rough section of the Computer Science department.

'You're getting older... it's a common complaint.'

'It looks like our data.'

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'