Safe Space Advocates Gifts

"You just destroyed your safe space."

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Man using to much bug spray

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"Getting the hang of it?"

"Careful."

Cafe Burns.

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'

The first 10,000 fans got a concussion bobblehead!

Kangaroo: Baby on Board

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

Boozing and Cruising

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

Model employee reads 'Best Practice' document ... scruffy slob reads 'Worst Practice', with messy desk and dangerous wires.

Speeding Forklift

'This is a new electronic child-proof cap. If you can pronounce the drug's name, it opens.'

'Whoa, wait! Don't pull him out! He's plugging the hole!'

'I know they look geeky - but I believe lat good parenting should always come before style.'

"You know you have to wait an hour after eating before getting out of the water, young man!"

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

'Just say no to ch-e-e-s-ee!'

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

"They never told us what carrying twenty times our own weight would do to our knees."

Humpty Dumpty wearing over-the-shoulder seat belt smiles smugly.

I was coughing, Frank - I didn't need the Heimlich.

"I keep telling him there's a big difference between swimming and floating."

'Hey Dad, can I borrow the car?'

Caution: high speed treadmill, hole in wall behind it