Safe Shopper T-Shirts

'Oh my gosh!!! What are you doing giving out our credit card information online?!!!'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

All Natural Nothing

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"Everything's gone up."

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

Man in radiation suit with 'Fresh Farm Produce'.

Fashion Mistake.

"You want to go shopping in Lisbon? Honey, give me 10 seconds to sign the order to invade Portugal!"

"Your chocolate biscuits and cakes are getting smaller - and where's your sweets aisle?"

Pets: This animal has not been tested on products.

"Do you carry any shampoos that have been tested on little kittens?"

'Could you tell me where the organic locally-grown vine-ripened union-picked kiwis are?'

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

One Dollar, One Vote

'And don't forget the eggs dear'

Our grocery carts are genetically modified.

Discount Shopping.

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

At last! We've found their elusive burial grounds!

"Here's a bunch of money. We need you to save America...as we know it."

"Most of it is the same, but if you look here you'll see that the price is twice as big"

Stuff you need once then leave at the back of the cupboard to fester

Introducing clean conscience products

'Going into business sale' at a jeweler's.