Ruthless Executive Gifts

'I hate these non-hostile takeovers...'

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."

"Hank brings five years of top sales experience to our team so lets try to make him feel welcome as he makes you all look bad."

Boy in toy car talking on phone.

"Good news, chief, a computer virus destroyed all our documents."

'Interesting. At first, I didn't pick her as dominant.' - Child chairs meeting at Toys Inc.

'We're looking for people who like to take work home.'

Cat Boss

"He's in a meeting, but you have 25 seconds to leave a video message."

"This new policy of resisting change is certainly innovative."

Free-range C.E.O.s

"Thursday makes it ten years. What do you say we renew our merger vows."

'We'll wait until the ex-ceo's cigar smoke clears before beginning.'

Man prays: 'Lord help me to be humble, and I want that by 10am Monday.'

"It's lonely at the top, but don't you love the solitude."

'Y'know, Henderson, that's exactly the sort of thing that makes people of you as a loose cannon.'

"Our founder was a real joker. That's the first silver dollar he ever glued to the floor."

Man at important looking desk lined with quill pens gets ready to shoot one at a dartboard on his wall.

'Well, Higgins, today it's on you to do the most dangerous job here. You've got to feed the board of directors!'

"Damn it, Bershire, I've told you to never call me when I'm in my executive ball pit!"

"Sorry, Hogg is no longer with the firm."

'I've never seen anyone move so freely between the business world and the spirit world.'

Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally. I've topped myself, minion. It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence; we have to simultaneously tear down the competition. Behold my masterpiece. "100 percent of those who drink Coffee King's coffee will die." Best part is it's technically true.

'But RG, you can't be a big fish in all the big ponds...you can only be a big fish in your big pond.'

Chief Executives Teddy

'I'd like to see that smart aleck second grade teacher ask me if I have enough for the whole class now.'

'As you may know, I'll retire in a few weeks but you better not think that I'm a lame duck now!'

"I propose we put all our eggs in one basket."

"...and who might you ask was responsible for this mistake?"

Let's be honest here, and admit we're targeting the stupid-with-their-money demographic.

My husband's dynamic, aggressive executive material, but he's too shy to say so!

New Year's Resolutions...1 Don't abuse my position at the center of the Financial System to make jaw dropping amounts of money while dragging the economy to the edge of the abyss and ruining the lives of thousands of innocent people 2. Lose weight

We're a paperless office, except for executive bonuses.

"Someday a prestigious business school will erect a statue in his honor."