Rustic Decor Aficionado T-Shirts

Bears have a conversation next to a man as a rug.

Before Electric Fences

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

Cat statues on entrance gate

Cake Free Zone

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

Thatched roof car.

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

Leonardo Da Vinci's Cat

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

Doulton Canada Geese

This is the first time I've been on the top management floor.

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

Pea green

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

"Okay, lady, your new carpet is installed...you can let your dog back in now."

Robotic Flower Arranging

Woman crushed under satin sheets.

'I love what you've not done with the place.'