Rustic Decor Aficionado Pillows

Bears have a conversation next to a man as a rug.

Before Electric Fences

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

Cake Free Zone

Cat statues on entrance gate

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

Board Game Hunter

Thatched roof car.

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

Leonardo Da Vinci's Cat

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

Doulton Canada Geese

"Okay, lady, your new carpet is installed...you can let your dog back in now."

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

Pea green

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

This is the first time I've been on the top management floor.

Robotic Flower Arranging