Rustic Charm Admirer Pillows

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

"Oooh, wind chimes�how New Age."

Falstaff

Country Bumpkin.

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

Opening the Barrel

Thatched roof car.

"I learned ridin', I learned cowpokin' and I learned how to eat and sleep under the stars. But, dag nab it, I never learned any geology."

"Life is beautiful, and it's messy."

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

'Hey! Make sure those boots are muddy before you set foot in here,mister! Took me all morning to get this place filthy!'

Count Valmont- Proposed Titlepage to 'Les Liasons Dangereuses'

Cool hand... Uke

Little Red Riding Hood in Dallas

Caveman applying wallpaper cave paintings

The Lumberjack and the Yule Log

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

Olive Tree

"You boys who have to take your medications with food, now's the time."

Let me stand behind that one and you take my picture.

'You seem to be suffering from frontier mentality...'

Lockdown had left Nigel desperate for a haircut.

"Son, you're old enough now to whittle your own condom."

"You're the one who wanted to go someplace off the beaten track - you ask him what's gluten free."

House Hunters of the Old West

"Hey, I don't see Harry Truman's name on the ballot!"

"It takes years before some people are comfortable enough to say hello."

'You travelled 6,000 miles to find Chateau Grande Magnifique? Buddy, you're looking at it.'

"Statistically speaking, there's got to be at least one woman in there who's looking for the awkward sensitive type."

Carl Maria Friedrich Erust von Weber

William Blake's Seven

"Take this, Luke. They say it's impossible to get a decent baguette west of the Pecos."

'This is a no-frills bar, pal -- You bring your OWN napkins!'