Rural Showbiz Enthusiast T-Shirts

A-Hem! I'm still singing here!

Showbiz Awards

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"Static cling."

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

Music Hall Dancers

"Is it 'Measure once, cut twice?' Or 'Cut once, then measure?' Or maybe it's..."

Twitter that!

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

"You can stop any time, sir. I've already told you I'm not wearing a body camera!"

West End Shows closing - box office piled high with boxes.

"Yes, Your Honor. I am Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

"You may now phony show-biz kiss the bride."

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

Live the Dream!

"Looks like Broadway's back."

'Anyway, you look wonderful. Mind if I ask who does your lighting?'

'Come in, Jordan - your time is up.'

I've been doing sit-ups!

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

A woman bows to the crowd

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

"Mom, I got the job!"

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

Early American Think tank

Surburban Joys - Haymaking.

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!