Rural Showbiz Enthusiast Mugs

A-Hem! I'm still singing here!

Showbiz Awards

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

"Static cling."

Music Hall Dancers

"Is it 'Measure once, cut twice?' Or 'Cut once, then measure?' Or maybe it's..."

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

"You can stop any time, sir. I've already told you I'm not wearing a body camera!"

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

West End Shows closing - box office piled high with boxes.

"Looks like Broadway's back."

"You may now phony show-biz kiss the bride."

"Yes, Your Honor. I am Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

Live the Dream!

I've been doing sit-ups!

'Anyway, you look wonderful. Mind if I ask who does your lighting?'

'Come in, Jordan - your time is up.'

A woman bows to the crowd

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

"Mom, I got the job!"

Early American Think tank

What's your returns policy on faulty goods?

Surburban Joys - Haymaking.

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."