Runners Gifts

NORWAY'S HOPE FOR GOLD IN '96: 15,000-METER SALMON RELAY.

'To cover the city's debt the NYPD wrote tickets for every act of littering at the marathon.'

Professional runners chasing money

'It's not a finish line it's a trip wire.'

Lazy Slackers Marathon

'My feet are killing me.'

"Portrait of a Lady"

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

e-shoes

Banana Split...

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

10 K Tail-Chase

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

31. 19. 55.7.

City Marathon.

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"Eat my dust!"

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

Running

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'