Ruler Of Realms T-Shirts

'Can we wait till tomorrow to go out to dinner? -- My Dungeons & Dragons group meets tonight!'

"I see that grading papers for the teacher is going to your head."

"He's his own worst enemy."

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

"Well, looks like Bob has hooked another baby kraken."

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

Gracie for Queen...of the universe.

Nothing is Lost Everything is Transformed.

A politician's dream come true...

'Interactive TV news.'

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

"Why, this is fit for me!"

'It's not a bad little kingdom - as kingdoms go.'

'Your Majesty could have gold fish in the moat.'

'Of course, now that we have turf, we'll need someone to protect it.'

"I am a control freak."

'I know you're going to inherit the throne from your father, but I want you to go to medical school just in case.'

"Trust no one."

"To create the universe, hit the space bar."

"Dear diary: Pillage, conquer, scheme, poison — same old thing. Plus, my new robe makes me look fat!"

"Sky, sir?"

"The chocolate fudge and whipped cream is okay. But you should have sought planning permission for the giant cherry on the roof!"

"Don't worry! I'm a very experienced babysitter."

"I have no problem with dictatorships; my problem is with not being the dictator."

"Does this mean I have to talk to someone I don't know?"

"Here's Mommy now!"

"I exiled the lot of them. How are your kids?"

"Le roi s'amuse. Now put your father on the phone."

Clown King

"I want to be feared as a tyrant, loved as a father, and revered as a god, but I also want them to think I'm funny."