Ruler Of Realms T-Shirts

'Can we wait till tomorrow to go out to dinner? -- My Dungeons & Dragons group meets tonight!'

"I see that grading papers for the teacher is going to your head."

"He's his own worst enemy."

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

"Well, looks like Bob has hooked another baby kraken."

Nothing is Lost Everything is Transformed.

Gracie for Queen...of the universe.

A politician's dream come true...

'Interactive TV news.'

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

"God, I love this show!"

"Why, this is fit for me!"

'It's not a bad little kingdom - as kingdoms go.'

'Your Majesty could have gold fish in the moat.'

'Of course, now that we have turf, we'll need someone to protect it.'

"I am a control freak."

Every time an invading army tries to kill me, I wonder if I should have finished art school instead of going to the family business.

"Dear diary: Pillage, conquer, scheme, poison — same old thing. Plus, my new robe makes me look fat!"

"Sky, sir?"

'I know you're going to inherit the throne from your father, but I want you to go to medical school just in case.'

I just need exactly 30 minutes to go to a funeral. Exactly? That's how long it'll take me to march to the archipelago where Bajor was and light a dragon on fire in Bajor's honor. I hope you're going to tell me you're talking about some video game

"Trust no one."

"To create the universe, hit the space bar."

Wonderland. Old King Cole is putting together a new administration. Humpty Dumpty will be Secretary of the Fence. The cow who jumped over the moon will be Secretary of Steak, and the Little Mermaid will be Sturgeon General. Any one of the dwarfs could be Labor Secretary. It's off to work we go .... They're certainly on the short list!

Clown King

"Don't worry! I'm a very experienced babysitter."

"Does this mean I have to talk to someone I don't know?"

"I exiled the lot of them. How are your kids?"

"Le roi s'amuse. Now put your father on the phone."

"The chocolate fudge and whipped cream is okay. But you should have sought planning permission for the giant cherry on the roof!"

"You're in my realm now - keep your hands off the thermostat."

"I have no problem with dictatorships; my problem is with not being the dictator."