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'Have you hammered out the new rule book yet?'

"He's got whistleblower written all over him."

'I tried shooing. What's our policy on swatting?'

'... 'Pickoff'?... No... 'Ground out'? ... No...'

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

"Mam? What's love juice?"

'Now hold on, Mike. You're talking about embezzlement! And unless I'm very mistaken, that's strictly prohibited in the company's employee handbook!'

'Out. How come?' - 'Off side.'

At last he had found the Regulatory Guidelines.

"He was right, you know - a queen can move as many spaces as she likes."

Baseball Rules Conference. The actions of this runner are prohibited by the current rules. Next slide, please.

'There really is no need for confusion. Rule 10, section 5, article a, subsection 3, exception 4 quite clearly states ... '

No hitting below the belt!

Legal? Big-shoed clown prepares to kick field goal.

'-and remember,under any circumstances, NO extra time!'

'Nice try, Mom! They're pinking shears.'

'Stan, wait!... Wrong game!'

"No Bald Games"

James Naismith

'Oh for Pete's sake. This ain't nuclear science, gentlemen. I'll read it one more time, but pay attention... 'the infield fly rule is in effect if there is less than two outs and runners on first and second'...'

'By the time I finish explaining the rules, I've lost 'em.'

Attorneys at law.

'Upon further review, the ruling on the field is upheld. The catch was totally constitutional. Touchdown!'

"It may not be a balk, but it's something."

Penalty! Fifteen yards for a block in the back.

Guest Houses.

'That does it... Now I'm definitely going to become a lawyer.'

'Oh, that place...? we shut that down AGES ago!'

Football foul (red card).

Spring Training Camp. Have you ever thrown spitballs? Not since the league started testing saliva.