Rule Book Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Great, you can start Monday.. remember, NO BLUE JEANS.'

'Oh for Pete's sake. This ain't nuclear science, gentlemen. I'll read it one more time, but pay attention... 'the infield fly rule is in effect if there is less than two outs and runners on first and second'...'

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

"Mam? What's love juice?"

'Now hold on, Mike. You're talking about embezzlement! And unless I'm very mistaken, that's strictly prohibited in the company's employee handbook!'

'Out. How come?' - 'Off side.'

At last he had found the Regulatory Guidelines.

"He was right, you know - a queen can move as many spaces as she likes."

'There really is no need for confusion. Rule 10, section 5, article a, subsection 3, exception 4 quite clearly states ... '

Legal? Big-shoed clown prepares to kick field goal.

No hitting below the belt!

'-and remember,under any circumstances, NO extra time!'

"It may not be a balk, but it's something."

'Upon further review, the ruling on the field is upheld. The catch was totally constitutional. Touchdown!'

Attorneys at law.

James Naismith

'Stan, wait!... Wrong game!'

'By the time I finish explaining the rules, I've lost 'em.'

"No Bald Games"

'That does it... Now I'm definitely going to become a lawyer.'

"Holding superstar quarterback accountable—token penalty after the kickoff."

Guest Houses.

'Oh, that place...? we shut that down AGES ago!'

'Have you hammered out the new rule book yet?'

"He's our most entrenched bureaucrat. Why'd you go and tell him we have unwritten rules?"

"He's got whistleblower written all over him."

Football foul (red card).

Being a stickler for rules, Howard refuses to act until his motion has been seconded.

'... 'Pickoff'?... No... 'Ground out'? ... No...'