Royalty Historian Pillows

Queen Hermione - Queen Victoria Urged To Stop Mourning and Return to Public Life

'His speech was pre-empted by a Lady Godiva special.'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

Czarcasm

"He's a guard dog."

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

New Resident of Downing Street

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

'I screwed up royally!'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

'You're reordering your priorities? -- Since when do you have priorities?'

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

Cat king.

'It's the Secretary-General of the United Nations -- are you here?'

'I couldn't get Parliament to outlaw Lady Godiva, but they agreed to regulate her.'

'When did we permit the Jester to start doing impressions?'