Royalty Historian Pillows

Queen Hermione - Queen Victoria Urged To Stop Mourning and Return to Public Life

'His speech was pre-empted by a Lady Godiva special.'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

"He's a guard dog."

Czarcasm

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

New Resident of Downing Street

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

'I screwed up royally!'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

'You're reordering your priorities? -- Since when do you have priorities?'

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

'I couldn't get Parliament to outlaw Lady Godiva, but they agreed to regulate her.'

Cat king.

'When did we permit the Jester to start doing impressions?'

'Be right back -- I have to sign some ennobling legislation.'