Royal Wedding Enthusiast Gifts

'I was a private guest at the Royal Wedding last weekend!'

"Wedding dresses have just shot up all over the realm!"

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

'Now that's an afro!'

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

King George I

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

The Unhappy King

'Of all the technological advances from the last 60 years, this is one's favourite.'

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

"Take your time. Do you see the person who made you wear that dress?"

'Do you Duane, paternity suit notwithstanding, take Diane...'

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

Royal Love

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

The Wedding of Sally and Joe, as captured on film by the world's first for-profit Satellite-Photography Service, from 23,300 feet

"To be fair, I think you should be very clear about the ground rules with your next jester."

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

Wedding Selfie

Wedding selfie stick

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."