Royal Role-playing Enthusiast Pillows

'You'd better have a little talk with Rupert -- he beheaded his teddy bear today.'

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

'Now that's an afro!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

King George I

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

Jack Gleeson

'How about a game of cards?'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'It would never work out, Blackfire — our alignments are too different.'

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

'Some people just aren't cut out for adventure gaming, Bruno — maybe you should try chess or checkers.'

The Unhappy King

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

Royal Love

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

'How can you say I'm a bad actress, Tarzan?'

I'm tired of your games, Al. MY games? look who's talking! The guy with the role-playing hand puppets!

"They're class action figures."

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

"To be fair, I think you should be very clear about the ground rules with your next jester."

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'Let's play doctor - you be the patient, you be the surgeon, and I'll be the malpractice-attorney.'