Royal Funster Pillows

'I hate talking to the Man in the Iron Mask -- I can't understand a word he says.'

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

Cheeze Wiz.

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

'The puppy just downloaded on your computer keyboard.'

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

"Are you ready to engage with rock-rased content?"

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

'Look. A mom with a handy carrying case.'

"A raise? You want me to give you a raise? Do I look like f*ckin' Santa Claus?"

"How do you like my 'Pop art'?"

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

"Please let go of Daddy's chest hair."

'Look, honey, the baby's got your mouth.'

'No honey, you can't sell him on ebay.'

'I'm still working on my novel. In the meantime, and this is between you and me, I make ends meet by writing all those cat memes you see on Facebook.'

'Congratulations Mrs Marrow, it's a courgette.'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

"You spoil that boy."

Santa Randy was fired and Santa Claus got the job.

'Did you know that turkeys and dinosaurs are closely related? Meet my cousin, Lenny!'

"The water for your fishbowl was approved, but it looks like for now you're not getting the fish."

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

Cow asks the horse for the carrot.

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

'Mom never said she was a clown!'

Actualities - Artists abusing permission to exhibit more than three pictures this year