Royal Family Assistant T-Shirts

"I was assistant to Prince Andrew for six months, then I realised that, no matter how good I was, they were never going to make me Prince Andrew."

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"It is we."

Photos of Queen Elizabeth II

Fairy Library - Cinderella Marries the Prince

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

"Possible exception to Prince William's proposed halt on space travel." proposed halt on space travel."

'It's been a pretty slow day -- What say we knock off a couple hours early?'

Reign Man

'I'll have your head on a platter.'

"You have a really lousy sense of humor."

"What good is power if you don't use it?"

"It may not be resplendent, Your Highness, but it's totally ergonomic."

'I'm a guard dog too.'

Queen Hermione - Queen Victoria Urged To Stop Mourning and Return to Public Life

The King In The Rain.

"Friend or foe?"

'Not till you're sixteen.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"...some of these tadpoles may not be yours."

'Actually,no. It isn't okay to have a little chat and sign a few autographs!'

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

French 75s at the Stafford

My horse for a kingdom.

POLLS, 'If an election were being held today....'

Catherine the Great with her daughter Nora Soso

"You rang, m'lord?"

'I know you had to give him a job because he's a relative, but I still think a Press Secretary should know how to read and write.'

'In order to be the king's permanent wine taster, you only have to be able to do 3 things: drink, swallow...and live.'

'You're just lazy! -- Don't give me that 'metal fatigue' stuff!'

'Do you have an appointment?'

"What do you mean, Grandma granted you asylum?"

The Height of Impudence.