Routine Maintenance T-Shirts

"You again?"

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

Deflator mouse

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"Lovely dovetail."

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'Everything is automatic. The coffee turns on at 7:00...They go to work at 7:25 and we go up and get in their bed.'

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

Lazy plumber.

'Goodness, the potholes are deep this year, aren't they?'

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Car wash / Mouth wash

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

"Washing your car will cause it to rain – science or superstition? We investigate on the next 'Cause and Effect.'"

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."