Routine Loyalist Pillows

'Yessir, Ben us fly fisherman answer to a higher calling.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

The Lives of the SaintsThis Week: Frieda Witherspoon

Voter impatience.

"I'd like to see you every Tuesday, forever."

"Holidays with the family... Boss, I'm so happy to be back again! May I do some unpaid extra hours please?"

Replica Football Merchandise

Ball and Chain

'Don't look at me like that! I know it's a banned substance, OK? But how can I compete if I'm the only one in the league not using spinach?!'

'What do you mean foul? I had a shower this morning!'

"He misses his commute ."

'Surely you could have missed one episode of Eastenders !!'

'Our dog's been dead two years but he can't break the habit!'

'I know it's an early kick off but this is ridiculous!'

"Well, come to think of it, we are creatures of habit: Always migrating to the same place and stopping at the same spots on the way..."

Plain ol' me.

Mountaineers milk.

'This is an amicable split. Coach O'Neill has done a great job. We just have different ideas...'

"Today on the Godcast, what if I told you 'commandments' were more like 'suggestments?'"

"A paperback?! Iv'e got hundreds of books saved on this."

'Even the TV dinners are a repeat.'

Policemen Bill and Alf in police car.

"That's it! I'm giving up TV! Every single show is awesome! So now nothing is worth watching."

The Republican Machine

'I have a rigid routine...sharpen pencils, organise desk, have writers block and start my nervous breakdown after lunch.'

"We're out of chrysanthemum." "I ordered chrysanthemum tea. This is not chrysanthemum tea. This is chamomile." "I've had a chrysanthemum tea every day for the last 80 years, and I'm still alive and well." "Are you trying to kill me?" "Are all old folks this superstitious?" "Superstition's always worked in the past."

"Sir, are you sure you don't want to try anything else besides the fish for once?"

"It doesn't get any more low-maintenance than this!"

"The way I see it, we lived like pigs in the eighties and, with any luck we'll continue to live like pigs throughout the nineties."