Party Loyalist Pillows

'I just want a candidate who doesn't make me flinch.'

When Someone Says Biden Sucks, You Are Supposed to Have a Good Answer

The Republican Machine

"Well that certainly took long enough! Next on the hit list...the Tea Party and that dang Glenn Beck."

Making a list, checking it twice...

'This one's for liberals.'

Voter impatience.

'Yessir, Ben us fly fisherman answer to a higher calling.'

"Who do you like in the super bowl?"

'Don't you think your Jim has taken getting his favourite sun lounger as far as it can go?'

Football addict

Ball and Chain

'We're still crazy then ...'

Replica Football Merchandise

'Don't look at me like that! I know it's a banned substance, OK? But how can I compete if I'm the only one in the league not using spinach?!'

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

"At least you get to wake up from your nightmares."

"I wonder why the kids named me Mourinho? I hope it's not because I'll only last a few days..."

'What do you mean foul? I had a shower this morning!'

'Surely you could have missed one episode of Eastenders !!'

Henry Campbell-Bannerman

You're supposed to just copy it. The Archbishop says to knock off the ad libs!

Liverpool FC Chairman - "It's Man United, they want to know if we've any trophy cabinets going spare."

'This is an amicable split. Coach O'Neill has done a great job. We just have different ideas...'

'That's what I like about him, he always pays his round.'

Arsene Wenger's piggy bank and Andre Villas Boas.

"How old were you before you discovered our football song wasn't the national anthem?"

'I see you haven't paid me yet!'

'His idea of bipartisan is going to two parties a night.'

"A paperback?! Iv'e got hundreds of books saved on this."

Policemen Bill and Alf in police car.

Democrat and Republican birthdays

"No, your book didn't 'lock up' on you. You actually have to turn the page."

Alliance of American Football

Reality Football