Party Loyalist T-Shirts

'I just want a candidate who doesn't make me flinch.'

The Republican Machine

"Well that certainly took long enough! Next on the hit list...the Tea Party and that dang Glenn Beck."

Making a list, checking it twice...

Voter impatience.

'Yessir, Ben us fly fisherman answer to a higher calling.'

"Who do you like in the super bowl?"

'Don't you think your Jim has taken getting his favourite sun lounger as far as it can go?'

Football addict

Ball and Chain

Replica Football Merchandise

'We're still crazy then ...'

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

'Don't look at me like that! I know it's a banned substance, OK? But how can I compete if I'm the only one in the league not using spinach?!'

"At least you get to wake up from your nightmares."

'What do you mean foul? I had a shower this morning!'

'Surely you could have missed one episode of Eastenders !!'

Henry Campbell-Bannerman

'This is an amicable split. Coach O'Neill has done a great job. We just have different ideas...'

"A paperback?! Iv'e got hundreds of books saved on this."

Policemen Bill and Alf in police car.

'His idea of bipartisan is going to two parties a night.'

'I see you haven't paid me yet!'

"How old were you before you discovered our football song wasn't the national anthem?"

'That's what I like about him, he always pays his round.'

Items From the Jay Leno Fan Club

Reality Football

While the world's attention has be focused on Vatican city this week, devotions continue in Washington, D.C.

"... To be honest, I've forgotten what it was I joined up to forget."

"No, your book didn't 'lock up' on you. You actually have to turn the page."

"They've got no talent...he sings off key...they've got no rhythm...they look like slobs...I'd say you've got a huge hit on your hands!"

'George is Jessica Ennis' biggest fan.'