Rooster Ringleader T-Shirts

"The farmer has increased my duties: I now need to cock-a-doodle-doo at sunrise, morning tea, lunchtime, afternoon tea, dinner and sunset..."

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"He's got no idea how to run a Husky team."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

Heroic Rescue from a Falling Tower

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

"Half a dozen brown—three large, three jumbo!"

'You know you're doing your job right when both coaches are mad at you.'

"I've got a pulse!"

"In my line of work, I have to make sure I don't get a sore throat and lose my voice..."

"I not only have to wake up the cows, I have to wake up the rooster."

'Publish or perish doesn't apply to coaching, Yomp - it's recruit, recruit, win, win, win!'

'If it's alright with your agent, Kolwalski, I'd like to hand the ball off to you.'

Poetry Knight

'Don't put any money on him. I saw him placing a bet on the favourite.'

A caveman sleeps with a club labelled 'Snooze' whilst a beaten looking rooster stands by.

"It's not my fault that you forgot your hearing aid!"

Diner angry at a robot waiter because of a nut in his food

"Mr Shamani co-ordinates boardroom rituals."

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, Why are you a Yankees fan? Purple pinstripes are WAY better than blue ones. Go Rockies! See ya in the series this year! -Love, prettyinpurple. *(Actual reader letter) Ask Sadie at rudy@rudypark.com. Why do I like the Yankees, Rudy? Dunno. Why do I like Cuban cigars, 100-year-old port, John Wayne, Albert Einstein rubbing my feet while I bathe in salt from THE DEAD SEA?! Um ... Why must I be subjected to letters like this?!?! I can't get past the Einstein thing ...

'Wake him up. He's the one who started all of this.'

'Oh yeah? Try to sleep in when your dad is a rooster!'

"You turned all night long!"

Barnyard Motel. You'll get your (cursing symbols) wake-up call when I say you'll get your (cursing symbols) wake-up call.

Clown Car Lane: 10 or More

Honestly - the old man's spelling gets worse!'

"Out here, Boy, we get up with the chicken!"

"I can't decide what not to wear today."

"Sorry I'm late again guys! My bad! Anyway, um...."

'Sorry I'm late - my shoe lace snapped!'

It might not be a hard job, but it's a stressful one: Everybody notices when you mess up...'

For Tim, sleeping late is not an option!

Rooster Little: "The sky is falling! The sky is — Whoa. Check out the chicken breasts on that hen..."