Room Cleaning Evader Pillows

"What? Speak up! I can't hear you! I'm getting outside interference!"

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

'The Anal Retentive Astronaut.' 'Just LOOK at all this DUST!'

'It's a simple two-part strategy. First, locate the hills. Then head for them.'

The life-changing magic of shoving everything into a huge Hefty bag and leaving it for somebody else to deal with.

"I still haven't cleaned up from the party."

"And that's why we don't have nice things."

Wow, look what you've stepped in: Boy I'm glad I'm not the one having to lick it off...

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

There's leftover apple crisp! Whoever finishes it up, please clean the baking dish. Hey! It's not finished!!

"Was delegation the only thing you learnt on that management course?"

"Joining the Army was great for me son; he learned a skill and gained a world of self confidence. Of course, he still won't clean his room."

What would it take to get you to start running? Frankly, doctor, it would take someone chasing me.

'Anything to get out of taking a bath.'

'Ah, for the good old days when geologists worked outdoors.'

Man to lady regarding 'Resistance Exercises' book: 'No thanks. I've been an expert on resisting to exercise for 20 years.'

"He's not good with change!"

The coward's way out.

"I got an extension.'

"A banana Grace left in my room four weeks ago."

"I have an app that does my exercise for me!"

'New dog?' - 'Yes, and no more food bills, no vets fees.'

"With my tech skills, I just feel my talents would be wasted on mundane tasks like taking out the trash, cutting the grass and cleaning my room."

"Math scares me so much I can't even add it to my list of anxieties."

"My dishwasher isn't working. He got fired yesterday."

Financial Advisor. Will you meet expenses this month? Unless I find a really good hiding place.

"Not now—I'm cooking to avoid intimacy."

Fear of housework.

'I put a dab of Pine-Sol behind each ear and my husband thinks I've been cleaning all day.'

"No, Harry, shaking ketchup on your burger and chips twice a day cannot be counted as exercise."

'I purposely keep it messy so no monsters move in.'

Geez, mom, it's clean! Why does it always have to be squeaky clean? Mighty mouse.