Romcom Realist T-Shirts

"Will you get this guy outta here! If I hear 'real life ain't a Hallmark movie' one more time..."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

Stand-up Romcom

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

"I can't wait to introduce you to all the people I used to be friends with, before I started spending all my time with you."

"I think I should tell you, I'm CGI."

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

'Let's go to your place. I cook, I clean and then we can have a meaningful shag.'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"I hope I'm not embarrassing you, Elaine... I guess I've always been a fool for love."

"Your press kit said you were lots of fun."

'Goodbye, dear. This is the kind of day that makes you feel glad to be alive.'

"Hold on—I'm getting information as to why these two should not be wed."

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'I do...with reservations.'

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

"We didn't spend much time together when we first got married, so we're making up for lost time. We now have a date night 300 days a year."

The point in every relationship, when annoying habits become intolerable...

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

The sperm and the egg: romance in action

'Will you marry me if I can get funding?'

"Happy anniversary, dear. How about a second honeymoon?" "Sure. Who with?"

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

"What do you mean I never take you anywhere? We're here, aren't we?"

"You never chase me through back yards anymore."

'And do you, Desiree, take plan B to be your lawfully wedded...'

"We got him onto an exercise bike, but I'm afraid it was too late."

"I appreciate couples therapy, but I can't stop fantasizing about group therapy."

Darcy's feelings for Elizabeth increase.