Romantic Wrangler Pillows

"'In vino veritas?' You can't handle the veritas!"

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

She - Interpreter - He.

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

Sulk Shows

"Dammit Harold, you know I hate that mask!"

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"I fell in love with her. Then she mutated."

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

"Marriage is driving me crazy and she's my designated driver!"

Give way - 'Oh, alright then...'

An old man and women are driving along with a 'Still married' sign on their car.

'OK...now what?'

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

'Though we understand your feelings towards your automobile, we aren't able to approve your application to marry it.'

'It's always about you isn't it, George? Wouldn't you like to hear about the terrible day I've had for a change?'

'I told you he had a temper.'

'Whenever he feels under attack, he calls for backup.'

"My seven-year-old is a prince, but my forty-seven-year-old is a pain in the ass."

Diplomacy

"He's fluent in 24 computer languages and never says a bloody word to me."

"You always insist on having the last word!" "Sorry!"

"Of course I'm sorry for whatever it is I'm supposed to have done."

"This'll test you - she just scraped your car while parking."

"Lactose started it, but now it's mainly me she can't tolerate. . ."

"It's time to bring in the wax begonias and your mother."

Love by bike

"You mean you're just going to throw 274 mortgage payments out the window?"

"Look, if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t you, who was doing all the snoring?!"

"You knew I was straight when you married me."

Women shopping with children in the trolley.

"One more word from you and I am leaving home."