Romantic Wordplay Enthusiast Pillows

"We can try and MEND a damaged heart, but not a BROKEN one."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Staff support"

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Vlad the Inhaler

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Punt Cake

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

Please Drove Carefully.

Gay Times...

Lesser known greek gods,

Wok. Don't Wok.

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

"Out damn Spot

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"Privates Beach"

Wordplay: In The Bag.

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

AA Meeting Here Today

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"