Romantic Skeptics T-Shirts

Manshit

"So is our divorce everything you hoped it would be, sweetheart?"

". . . and don't rush it. Don't make the same mistake your grandparents made. We were barely 95 years young when we got talked into marrying and settling down."

"We'll always have Paris. I backed it up on a zip drive."

"Well it's not my idea of foreplay!"

'I'm sorry I don't date people from other islands!'

'If I inspired this love peom, how come it's written on the back of a Hooters' napkin?'

She realized with horror that she had settled for Les.

'Bah! If I wanted long walks on the beach, I'd get a dog!'

'No! Romance with malice aforethought!'

'You're afraid of commitment, aren't you, Steven?'

Slow Boat to China.

'It's OK to say no. I'm not married to the idea.'

'He has no romance. For special occasions, he gives me a coupon for a card and chocolates that will be 50% off the next day.'

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

'Have you two taken the COSMO 'compatibility test'?'

The Sleeping Congregation.

'And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short.' -- Thomas Hobbes, 'I dated a guy like that once.'

Cupid misses his shot.

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

'Love gets the credit, but business makes the world go round.'

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'

Cupid's Valentine

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."

"It's from a girl in my class. Should I be thinking about a prenup?"

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"