Romantic Scribbler T-Shirts

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

I think you're ace

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

Never write a sonnet on an empty stomach

Shakespeare working on his "author's bio"

Intellectual Foreplay...

'You use the former when wooing your beloved and the latter during negotiations with your divorce lawyers.'

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

Will Self deprecation

'Are you sure this is the only way to get rid of your writers block?'

The Language of Love

Love, death and grammar.

"If you quote Rilke again, I'm just going to have to take my bra off!"

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

'He's just come back from a 'stress management' course.'

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

'I feel obligated to tell you that this offer may expire without prior written notice.'

Writer's Block

'You've broken down my immune system!'

The final reward for a writer... 'R.I.P. At last a deadline I can live with!'

A pen spewing letters

"I've learned to express my anger through my writing instead."

'Dammit, Bubbles, we need this memoir yesterday - write, damn you!'

Avoid texting valentine's messages

"Baldo, it's great that you want to draw editorial cartoons for the school paper. But effective cartoons comment on important issues. They are not a forum for your personal agenda."

Affordable homes coming soon - 'If they build these then our house will become affordable...!'

John Bolton

"If you ask me, his poetry has gone down hill since he started writing in metaverse."