Romantic Questioner Pillows

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

Now that we've invented language, let's talk about our relationship.

Cosmonaut

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"This is fun. I'm usually kind of a loner."

Astronaut love

"Well, who's stupid idea was it to honeymoon on Moonlight bay?!"

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

'Are you going to answer my text message or not?'

The Loving Couple

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

It'll never work - you're LED and I'm plasma.

I’d like to declare my interest. In what? Commitment. Two kids and a dog. Commitment to kids and a dog? And to going for long walks on the beach, to gazing up at the stars, to growing old together … What? I thought you were talking about two kids. That sounds like eight. And why would only tow grow old together? What about the other six? Are you saying they'll grow old at different rates? ... Or are you saying the other six will meet some untimely fate and not grow old at all? Then she asked if

Frank and Ernie's Relationship Advice. It's not enough to just accept that relationships are two-way streets ... You must also avoid taking side trips down alleys!

Goldilocks and the three boyfriends.

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

'Do you have anything cheap but guaranteed to help me get laid?'

'There are signs of improvement but I wouldn't order Christmas cards with both your names on them.'

A man surrounded with lovehearts

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

Happy Valentine's Day.

Mate Mart

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'I can't believe she married the prince after only one date.'

'I can lash out at you, unlike with other girls.'

"We're taking separate vacations this year."

'I love your poetry, m'dear - it's very Ezra Poundish.'

"I never knew what love was until you came along and explained it to me."

'You disgust me; but I like it.'

"You have zero empathy, Carlton. And I can't even begin to imagine what that's like."

'For goodness sake, don't struggle. I think this is quicksand.'

'Do you mean I leave a lot to be desired bad, or a lot to be desired good?'