Romantic Negotiators T-Shirts

'I do if you do.'

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Changing Minds

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

Now that we've invented language, let's talk about our relationship.

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

"I'll agree to a pre-nup if you'll agree to a non-compete clause."

'Our relationship would be perfect if it wasn't for you!'

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

We pay the maximum minimum wage.

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

A successful meeting! Only one member left in a rage shouting obcenities.

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

"I'll abandon my medium-and shorter-range missiles if you'll abandon yours."

"I learned that I'm more of a leaf pile jumper and less of a leaf pile raker."

"Oh, yeah? Well, we just put out a contract on you too!!!"

"If it gets tense in here I might need you to step up and BS-calate things."

"But it will never get better if you picket"

Perhaps a ceasefire is in order. Terms? I will agree not to pummel you for forgetting our anniversary. You will refrain from pursuing the possibility that I, too, have forgotten it. You will, furthermore, massage my feet in penance for denying me a reason to yell at you. Non-negotiable! Got off easy.

'Sometimes it's good to get a different perspective.'

'What split would you settle for, fifty fifty?' - 'As long as I get the hyphen as well.'

'Darling what will you give me for this ring?'

'I'll tell you my subtext, if you tell me yours.'

Unison plans strikes

Valentine's roses $59.99- Feb.15th- $12.99.

'I'm afraid I can't do business with you, Miss Carstairs -- you're just too damned cute.'

'I think we should also agree not to go to sleep horny.'

"At least have the decency to send her a text to tell her you're not interested."

"I'm not eating candy before dinner. I'm skipping dinner."

"It's a note from teacher. She wants to trade the apple I gave her for my chocolate fudge brownie."

"You tell me where you hid the remote and I'll tell you where I hid your phone."