Romantic Existentialist T-Shirts

"I want to be saved, but at the same time I want to be spent."

Life is for the birds.

Jean-Paul Sartre

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

Pinocchio's Second Realization

Chiller Theatre

"We'll always have Paris..."

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Reginald Bunthorne

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

Zenemies.

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

Pastorius wonders why.

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

Optimist

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

'I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death.'

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

Marriage least expected to last...

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

"All this pitching and hitting- I'm convinced there's a deeper meaning to it all."

"What's this for poorer stuff?"

'Well I wouldn't have to fake orgasms if you didn't fake foreplay!'

A Zircon Is Forever

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7