Romantic Dilemma Pillows

"My heart says no, my head says maybe, my you-know-what says yes."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'Here's to being in love, in a hurry, and in debt.'

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

"You’ll meet a beautiful woman whom your mother will loathe."

'You certainly picked your moment to propose!'

"Now we'll see what my husband has to say about this!"

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

"Only one Valentines card? Still could have been a lot worse!"

'Would you like to come over to my place and see a video of my first marriage?'

'I'm the bride's ex boyfriend. Before she says yes, can I just tell her that I've just won the lottery jackpot?!'

What's your problem? I love my wife... And I hate my mistress.

'I was betting you wouldn't show.'

Lovers Leap Frog

"No, you open yours first."

'Something that says I'm sorry without admitting liability.'

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but actually 47% of 235 people covering 34%..."

"O.K. Where is he?"

Damned if you do Damned if you don't

'Forever, like the mountains of mine waste?'

'You can forget 'Ladies First' for a start!'

"Watch this!"

Weddings...

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"I want to break up, but he's got an espresso machine."

I always strike out on blind dates

'You're hopeless Mike, hopeless...'

"Uh-oh this is going to be a tough one."