Romantic Conversationalist T-Shirts

"Yes, dear, I like the idea of repeating our vows — but let's change some stuff."

"Tell me the truth, Paul - do you love me for myself or because you think that Jewish women are where it's at today?"

'I'm really into her, but I'm just too nervous to strike up a baaaaaa.'

'I'm sure he's straight, but he swears he's gay - and that's where sexy 'moi' kicks' in!'

'I'll tell you my subtext, if you tell me yours.'

"You've just had a huge meal, but you still look hungry."

"I hear what you're saying, in fact I feel like a new man too."

PSA Banter.

Why we need poetry. . .

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"Do you mind if I bounce something off you?"

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

'Are you going to answer my text message or not?'

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

A lesson in wit

A man surrounded with lovehearts

"You look quite presentable when you make the effort. Your ex-wife always told me you scrubbed up well."

"You sure are ringin' my bell, Baby!"

'He hacked it off because the women in his weekly painting group never stopped gassing!'

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'